This post gets to the heart of how we often behave: it’s easier when we are surrounded by those who are like-minded; it’s harder when we are surrounded by those who have different opinions than ours. However–and this is the important part–diversity is what allows us to grow the most. If we are constantly surrounded by the same types of people who we agree with, we are never challenged. This challenge is what people fear, but it is also what people need.

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Your post brings a fascinating angle to our early years and experience and how they can end up affecting us later in life. I agree with your sentiment that much of the behavior we have as children (and into adulthood–or until we question it) is due to reinforcement from our elders (teachers and family members, especially). Because we do not know otherwise when younger, we behave as expected, right? Otherwise, we are either not be successful (black star), or we are not following the norms (your brother choosing the kitchen set). It’s crazy to think about how much this ends up influencing our biases later on in life.

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Wow. That is so not okay. I am sorry you and your colleagues had to deal with that.
Those are precisely the sorts of situations that concern me. How do we have conversations with the perpetrators of those blatantly inappropriate acts without them stonewalling or escalating their behavior? I think that’s the next step.

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Excellent. Go forth and make more equitable classrooms!

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I am honored by your comment. It’s definitely true that those of us who are the lone minority end up being the spokespeople for our marginalized group(s), and while it’s definitely extra work on our part and not really fair that we have yet another weight on our shoulders, I have found that in cases like last Wednesday’s class, bearing that additional burden can be the only thing that initiates a productive conversation (it was a heavy emotional toll and I felt VERY vulnerable, but it got people to stop, listen, and at least attempt to understand my viewpoint which is the goal). It was heartening to see people in places of privilege finally speak up about their fear of broaching this topic, and the hope is that those who felt empowered to speak in class will continue to do so in elsewhere, thus making more spaces welcoming and less fraught for those who are marginalized.

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That is an excellent point. I definitely have concerns about what might happen in a situation like that, but as you said, I am the adult in the room (even if they’re all over 18), so I will bear much of the responsibility for how things turn out, which means that however “hot” things get, I’ll have to keep a cool head (or at least, be very good at pretending like I can).

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